A Kiss

OMGSH!!!!!! It really makes me so mad! I wanted a new years kiss for good luck!!! I guess there is always next year, right...? idk I just need some luck for this new year! I know a kiss really does not give some real magical powers to some how make this year better than the last, but I so wish it would. Well I guess I can always pray for some, right? :) Idk it still makes me kinda upset because I can remember last year and the year before that thinking the same thing! But now THREE years in a row! It sucks... oh well I guess... But I guess it does not really matter when the guy I would want to kiss I'm not allowed! I am determined to do things right, to follow the rules. But it really is harder to do than I thought. I hope my blogs do not get me into any trouble! I am willing to wait for my beloved, till the right time. Two years... and I am utterly Free!! I love that thought "only two years"... although sometimes it does feel like a long time, but I do try not to think think about it like that. I am pretty sure that he really does love me, I mean he is willing to wait for us to be allowed isn't he? I love his family, no wait scratch that I Adore them, absolutely Adore them! all of them! His parents and siblings! lol even the dog and cat! I sorta hope no one reads this... I know i am not saying anything "Wrong" but somehow i feel like someone is going to read into all of this. But you know what I think? I think Loving some one (no matter who it is) is not wrong nor can they tell you you are not allowed to be in love!!! I just wish we had the freedom to be friends for now... I know we cant be "just friends" but we cant at least try. We have the rest of our lives (well after two more years) to be More than friends. I refuse to date anyone else or even look at anyone else, I want him and that's settled. I am willing to wait, just you watch! :) I feel like this fight for us will never end but I know it will be over one day when we are "allowed" or when it is "accepted" that we love each other... Oh how I can not wait for that day! Do not think I am just a silly child! And say I am not in love or that I do not even know what love is! You have no idea how mad that makes me! How could you sit there and tell me what you think when there is no Prof for your comment! I am able to have for love for my Family, for my friends, for God, and for his people, right!?!?!? Why then should I not be able to have love for a Boy!?!?... that's what I thought. idk I am sleepy and if I do not end now I am afraid I will go on all night! So Goodnight readers... (whomever you might be) are and sweet dreams.     
                           
                                                                                                                 XOXO, Hannah Shiloh